End of 2015...where am I at and where am I going?

It seems a long while since I last wrote a blog and given that I haven't raced for over a year this blog seems almost fraudulent but I wanted to write an update, whether for my own cathartic reasons, or just in case people still enjoy reading what I write, or maybe for those who haven't yet come across my blog.

So...where am I? Well physically I'm in Atlanta with my family for another Christmas all together. For 12 years out of the past 14 we have come out to Atlanta to stay with my brother who lives here, and the other two, well he came home to us. We're five hours behind so my mother is busy slaving away in the kitchen making our Christmas dinner, my father is sitting out on the balcony looking out onto the sun shining down on Midtown Atlanta and Piedmont Park, and my brother and I are busy doing our own things - perfect time for me to update my blog and look back on 2015 and forward to 2016.

I'm 35 now, 36 in a month, and in some ways I am very mature, I finally know who I am and feel very settled and content with life. On the other hand, I still feel like a big kid, both my brother and I are single, and that means that we get spoilt rotten by our parents. I know that life isn't forever and that makes me very grateful for the time that I have with loved ones and I am grateful for the small things in life, the things that make the difference, such as getting to a destination safely, landing safely after a 10 hour flight with bad turbulence, or just having another Christmas all together.

On the training front well I'm always grateful for coming out here as it means I'm able to train more than I have been doing recently. This year has been another year filled with injury rehab whilst being consumed by my MSc dissertation. This first half of this year was horrific in terms of the time outlay my dissertation took and the impact it had on my free time. However, it is now done. I've had a provisional mark back for my dissertation and whilst I am far from happy with it, it does mean that I will pass my MSc. I hate the whole subjectivity of academia, where one person looks for their own style when they mark, rather than seeing something for what it is. I was particularly annoyed that the provisional marking has criticised things that I was told to do by my supervisors, one of whom marked it, but hey ho, research is not my forte, but being a clinician is, and that's why I do what I do, to help people face-to-face, not through writing research. I will have passed, I will graduate in July 2016, and that will be a trio of degrees, one at each level, and that's me done for academia!!!!!

On another front, I have been more active with my private work in the past few months, www.youcanyouwill.co.uk also on Facebook @ #youcanyouwill, and I have successfully held introductory workshops to psychology for performance to two clubs in the local area, whilst picking up a few private clients. This private work is my way of helping others overcome issues that I myself have had to overcome in the sporting arena - anxieties about race day, believing in yourself, setting realistic goals and motivating yourself to achieve them, etc. It's only a small venture outside my day job, but my passion is helping others become who they want to be so I love this work to the point that it doesn't feel like work!

On the training front...well I desperately need to get back into a routine next year. As much as I feel restricted by a "plan" it's the only way that I consistently swim and gym, alongside running and biking. There are some new swimming sessions starting within my tri club that I intend on doing and as much as my shoulder pain is still very much present from the off my hopes of a diagnosis fell flat so now i'm just getting on with it! It might mean that a 3.8k swim and a 112 mile bike ride are off the table (my arm hurts when I cycle longer than an hour too on top of feeling like a dead weight and painful when swimming), but I fully intend on racing sprint and olympic triathlons in 2016, even if the whole initial anxiety that sets in when I can't get a breath in the pool is still very much present! I've created a home gym in my garage, so whilst I don't have everything I would want, such as a leg press, and a lat pull down machine, it's more than adequate with my squat rack, trx, kettle bells, slam ball, and free space. I have no excuses for not going to the gym now, other than my own head or time working against me! I even dusted off my rollers recently, after a couple of years of them being tucked away so they are going to become a regular feature alongside polishing up the sufferfest dvds i bought a year or so back! I don't need a class to motivate me, I can do that myself, so to optimise time my cycle and gym work will be done at home most of the time.

The running front though is another issue...I've joined a separate running club...I love the commaradarie of my tri club on race day but I wasn't doing any sessions with the club and felt very out of touch with people other than through the Facebook page. Having not raced for over a year, and properly for two years, I felt almost like I was no longer a member. However, joining the new swimming sessions will definitely help with this. Running though...followers of my blog will know that running is my achilles heel. It's what I love best, but it's also what has kept me away from triathlon/duathlon for 2 of the past 4 years that I have been involved with the sport. This year I finally found the expert that has hit the nail on the head after shedloads of money spent trying to find the answer. James Dunne of Kinetic Revolution has found that my running technique was the cause of the problems I was having and he has taught me to run again using a technique that allows me to run injury free, and to run on consecutive days without issues with my calf and without the ITB issues I was also suffering with. It's saving me a fortune in sports massages, I'll give him that!! Alongside this, the unexpected beauty of visiting Battersea Park in London made the 7 hour round trip for a 1 to 2 hour session all the more worth it, but just to be running pain free and consistently was enough in itself! He won't mind me plugging his website here I'm sure ;) http://www.kinetic-revolution.com

So the fact that I'm running injury free, and have been sensible doing lots of base miles, building from going super slow to ensure I was working to a zone 2 heart rate, which is demoralising in terms of speed, but rewarding when the gains come, adding in some speed, and adding miles slowly, has meant that I've looked to 2016 to actually move on with my running. I've got friends in a local running club, a rival to my tri club in the county cross country season, who were trying to convince me to join their club. This club is on my doorstep, with a multitude of training sessions suiting all abilities and session types across the week at a time that suited me getting home from work. I also recently did a psychology workshop with them and the way they embraced me almost as one of their own was enough to seal the deal in terms of joining them. I am happy running solo, it's what I've always done bar a few runs, but I recognise that I need to meet more people, that I'm missing out on meeting hunky men that might be single ;), that running with others can push you more than you potentially can yourself, plus I get to experience some new routes. So, I've taken the plunge to join Run4All Neath and I'm sure excited about running sessions with them, even if it feels strange to think of myself running in different colours and under a different name in certain races. A race that I will certainly be running under the Run4All name is the Scott Snowdon Trails Marathon in July. It's a lifelong ambition to run a marathon but recent years have made me doubt whether that would be possible due to injury. I have successfully ran three half marathons in the past but this year my hopes of achieving a good for age time didn't materialise due to injury so next year I'm not hanging about, I'm going for the big one, a trail run culminating in a run up and down Snowdon mountain ;) If i'm going to do a marathon, why not choose one that will make crossing that finishing like all the more rewarding even if I am broken by the end of it!

Away from the training front...my full-time work is all set for at least one, if not two, new adventures.  It's exciting but also daunting the potential changes afoot, but they are all career progression and taking me in the direction I have always wanted to go...additionally, the new friends I have made in work this year are magic, and I'd love for them to continue regardless of whatever direction my job goes in.

The final thing to reflect on for this year is how certain things have happened that have made me move on from things that had possibly been holding me back in the back of my mind. It's important to live for now, not the past, and I'm very much a different person from who I was a year ago in some respects, but definitely a different person from who I was five years ago and beyond. As such I'm super excited about seeing where 2016 takes me, the challenges afoot, the new friendships/relationships to be had, and to finally get back racing and continually setting myself new goals.

Merry Christmas everyone, may this post find you well, and I wish you all well for 2016...

End of the season 2015, a completely different challenge!

This year has felt like one long ultimate test of endurance, where your thinking is completely consumed by that one event. It's only now that I'm free from that and able to catch up with this blog. Unfortunately, I'm not referring to some exciting race I prepared for and took part in. No, I'm referring to my MSc in Sport Psychology. As some of my readers may recall I started this MSc 3 years ago when I felt like I needed a fresh challenge in work, even though this MSc was completely separate from my work. Due to my qualification already of a doctorate in clinical psychology I only had to complete four out of the six taught modules in the MSc, which was a godsend. Whilst at times the assignment of these modules would take over my life for a few weeks, it was manageable around my full-time work and just meant training took a hit for a few weeks. However, since the turn of the year my focus has been completely on writing my dissertation as I was conscious of having to do this part-time around my full-time work, and also knowing how busy the tutors were so pinning them down might prove difficult. As it is I'm not sure I ever expected it to be this hellish! I won't bore you with all the details, but basically when I submitted it it was the hardest I've ever worked on anything, and I was chuffed that I submitted it 19 days early meaning I could finally breath and have my life back!

So, here I am, on the second of my two weeks annual leave, and I'm sitting in the veranda of the holiday let I have for the week, looking out over Newgale Beach in Pembrokeshire (South Wales, UK, for those of my readers who aren't British). Other than at night when I fear the bugs coming out to crawl over me in my sleep I feel completely chilled and my stay here so far has involved long hikes along the coastal path as well as a run along the beach.

The view from my holiday let

I knew August was going to be a hideous month, of going into work early to create some extra time, then coming home and studying some more, before spending all my weekends working. The end of August bank holiday weekend I spent 25hours+ studying but the reward was having two weeks completely off and here I am!

Not going to tire of this stunning panoramic view

The long hill up to start my first hike of the coastal path

 But what about training and racing? Well, at the start of the year I decided not to enter any races so as to not put any added pressure on myself to train if my dissertation took all my time. The hope was that I would be able to enter races closer to the race date as and when I felt able to. As it happened I haven't raced at all as my training went to pot and my swimming went out the window. Partly this was due to me finally getting near the bottom of my shoulder pain, although I'm still awaiting the results of a recent arthrogram/MRI which might confirm a SLAP tear. However, I've got pain in the other shoulder too, so it just seemed less hassle not to swim. Although, there have certainly been times when I would have gone, pain included, if it hadn't been for my studying taking over. 

A look back at the bays I have just come from

I had no plan to my training, it was all quite ad hoc. I did write myself a plan one week but I don't think I even managed the first session from it! That's not to say I haven't been training, I have been running consistently, but the cycling and gym work was sporadic for quite a while. I think it's only three times that I've been outside on my bike this year!!!!!! Long rides outside were just time I didn't have so its lucky that I quite enjoy the turbo, other than the pain of being in the saddle for longer than 45 minutes when you're not used to it.

I also made a decision to ditch my gym membership. It's a bug bear of mine that there is only one squat rack in a gym and then one bloke decides to hog it for over half an hour. Unfortunately, it's rare that I will approach someone and ask if I can do alternate sets with them, or ask how long they will be, although I have done it once or twice in the past. In the gym itself session would revolve around the trx, the squat rack and the leg press mostly. If I went straight from work I'd struggle to get on one of the 3 spin bikes there, and definitely wouldn't get on the squat rack. This meant that I was opting to miss sessions rather than go to the gym and waste my time. Ultimately I decided to invest in my own equipment and turn my garage into a mini gym. So, now I have my own squat rack, a trx and a few other bits and bobs to ensure I can train when I want. This also means that my sessions are far more efficient as I am super-setting each exercise and not having to wait around for a piece of equipment to come free. When I return swimming then I will have to decide whether to go late in an evening to a public lanes session (I hate training late at night as I then can't get off to sleep), or to join up with a swim squad again. 

What I have found during this year is that having broken the habit of early morning training sessions getting up early is the hardest thing in the world if I know I don't "have to". If I had to get up early to go somewhere then I wake like a button. If i know there's a chance I can push the alarm back...a bad habit I'm afraid but after my leave is over, BOOM, I'm going to get back on it! I also recognised that my mind was working so hard in work (I was also taking on extra work in work to try and set up a new service) and then at home, that actually I was quite mentally exhausted and all my annual leave prior to these two weeks had either been taken to give me dedicated time to study/write my dissertation, or I was off but it was still on my mind as I was waiting on feedback before I could proceed. Therefore, it's only now that I have switched off from it. 

It's horrible to not be racing though, seeing race reports from club mates and friends about their races and not being a part of it. Granted, I have been working on my running after my session with James Dunne of Kinetic Revolution back in July to try and run injury free, so I wasn't anywhere near race ready anyhow. After my session with James I booked up to have a follow-up for the day after my dissertation was due, to give me time to try and implement his suggestions into practice, and then return to have a follow-up to check on my progress and ensure I was on the right lines. During the intervening time I was now running pain free, it was quite amazing!!!!!!! I had focused on going back to base building which was frustrating as when I started out I could barely break into a jog before my heart rate would beep and tell me it was too high but I stuck with it and whilst my mile splits are still way off what I'd like I am getting faster with my heart rate continuing to be low so I know it's working. I was even running on consecutive days, which is unheard of in "Hayley Land"!! I was up to three times a week running and had built mileage up to about 17 miles total across the runs. When I returned to Battersea Park it was another glorious day and the hour with James flew by. It was pleasing to see that in the first video he took of me in this follow-up sessions you could see the difference in my foot landing (i.e. not rolling in). However, there were still areas for improvement so over the next hour James had me work on technique and when he videoed me for the final time the difference within the hour was evident and it felt good! I have something to work on now over the winter and then I'll pop back up and see James again before Spring next year to check on progress again and see if there's anything else I need to tweak. I have noticed my soleus getting tight after running, which might be my leg adapting to running in a slightly different way so I have some strengthening exercises to do there, along with the other rehab exercises James had given me before. Additionally, this week with all my hiking my shin splints are sore but its not serious, it's not the tibialis posterior pain and that's the main thing!

So how about my biking? I raved about Cycle Specific a few months back but given how busy I got with my dissertation and how my bike work took a hit I haven't been there for a good long while. I've still been working in zone 2, base building, for my heart rate here, and in recent weeks my turbo sessions have become more regular, so hopefully I'll get back up to speed soon and get some outdoor rides in regularly and maybe a class or two on the wattbike. 

I have been considering where I go from here though training wise. Do I need a coach to give my training some structure? But I know from past experience that I have felt restricted by it. However, I also know that consistency is key, even if this means repeating the same sessions so maybe it's my issue. Saying that, I have the Friel and Fink books to work from and my own knowledge that has served me well in the past, so I was then thinking about changing my training in other ways. I've mostly been a lone wolf when training, only been to a smattering of run sessions mostly due to injury, and dipped in and out of swim groups. Do I then maybe need to look at joining in with some organised runs, meeting new people, finding new routes? James had said not to worry about speed work over the winter, continue to base build, but it would be nice to mix things up, maybe even if it's just a hilly run session...I've also got to consider what works best for me, which is training as soon after work as I can, as I'm not someone who enjoys coming home, grabbing a very light snack, and then training late. It just doesn't work for me. So, I'm weighing up some changes...

On a final note, during my dissertation months I didn't do any private work as a performance psychologist #youcanyouwill but now that my MSc is done I'm looking to build this a little to be a regular little side venture. A local run club approached me and have asked for an hours seminar on psychology for performance in November, so I'm looking forward to that, and maybe there'll be a couple of people from there that might benefit from some additional 1:1 time. We all put time and money into coaching, all the bling equipment, all the gels, protein shakes, recovery aids, etc. but too often the mental side is overlooked, yet recognised as being an area of weakness. I know myself that my mind has worked against me many a time in the past, and I'm a psychologist! So, hopefully, I can help people recognise how important it is to train the mind like any other part of their training and preparation. 

Thanks for reading...it was a long one for sure!

An insightful trip to Kinetic Revolution to overcome my running injuries

I've followed Kinetic Revolution on Facebook and twitter @KineticRev for a few years now and James' videos have always hit home with me as a lot of them are focusing on calf problems and issues with the tibialis posterior tendons. Having succumbed to tibialis posterior tendinopathy AGAIN, and having shin splints diagnosed after probably years suffering with it, I knew it was time to find out what i was doing when i run that was contributing, or causing, the injuries. It's pointless me rehabbing, trying new shoes, getting stronger in the tendons/muscles, only to carryon running the same way if actually the way i run is the root cause. So, i booked up for a 2 hour 1:1 session with James in Battersea Park Stadium, and on a sunny saturday off i drove up to London. It might seem madness to travel 7 hours return for a 2 hr session, but it was worth every penny, not only for the run analysis (more of that later), but also to discover Battersea Park! I'm thankful i was there on a sunny hot day to witness it in its splendour, but it took me right back to chilling out in Central Park in NYC, a truly beautiful space :) 

As it was a hot day and i'm not great in the sun i lathered up in suntan lotion and awaited the start of the session. Unfortunately, the suntan lotion meant that as soon as i started to run i got very sweaty very quickly and when it came to James having to manipulate my legs to see how flexible i was all he got was me literally dripping with sweat, nice impression made there i'm sure! Sorry James!

I think i ran just over 4k in total around the athletics track, with James videoing me to see what my current run form was like both at an easy pace, then doing an 800m paced run, then straight into a recovery 400m. Needless to say this hurt as i haven't ran at pace for a good while since trying to initially build up distance before injury, and now rehabbing back from injury...oopphhff!! However, as soon as James showed me what he had recorded i was taken aback, i could see straight away all the horrible things i was doing when i run, and i don't mean gurning or having my cheeks puff up like hamster cheeks!

Essentially i was causing my tib pos tendinopathy!! My hips were rocking' & rolling, as James kindly put, like i was "on a catwalk"! My shoulders were tilting in the opposite way so my body was all contorted and then when i landed my foot i landed on to outer edge and rolled in, with my left leg actually landing to the right of the centre of my body! No wonder my tib pos was screaming in agony!!!!! I was putting huge stress on it by the way my body was positioned and the way I landed my foot. 

James gave me a few adjustments to make, each time getting me to run with the adjustment and then release the adjustment, reverting back to old style, before reverting back again to new style and repeating whilst running continuously to allow me to notice the difference. What a difference i felt! When i ran my usual way i could now feel my bum cheeks rolling with each stride, and with the new technique everything felt so much more secure. James gave me some exercises to stretch my hip flexors out, and also gave me some exercises to strengthen my glutes as they weren't activating when i was running either, contributing to the rockin' and rolling going on! What i also learnt was that i was probably using my quads mostly when squatting, rather than driving up through my heels activating my glutes. I've now made this change on my weighted leg work and can already feel the difference. 

During the session the glute work i had to do was agony, because i was so weak there, whereas now that i've been doing the rehab regularly it's fine, not sweat-pouring-inducing as it was on the run analysis day. Needless to saw i was grateful i could shower and change there before the long journey back home!

All in all i came away enthused and motivated, but also really pleased that i now had a solution. If i did the rehab and changed my run form the way James had instructed me then i was in control of being able to run pain free and get back to doing what i love and back to racing!! Whilst it was a long day it was worth every penny, so much so that i've booked to go for a follow-up session which will only be for 1 hr, and i could argue that it's an awful long way to go in one day just for 1hr, but James was so knowledgeable and approachable, and if it means that i continue on the right lines with my new running form, then it will be worth every penny again! Running pain free and without the pain after running is a novel experience. I've been building slowly, starting off with run/walk/run/walk short intervals to allow me to reset technique each time, and i've now built up to 5 miles nonstop with the new technique bedding in. I have to keep refocusing on it when running, but i'm now running 3 times a week again, taking it slowly, easy pace, but getting there :) hopefully when i return at the end of September to see James again he'll be pleased with the progress i have made and i might have some confidence that i can continue to build over the autumn and winter into next year where i can race what races i want without injury :)

If you've been struggling with injuries then don't hesitate, look up Kinetic Revolution on the web, on Facebook, on twitter, and get in touch with them!!

Renewed mojo amidst ongoing injury niggles

The last time I wrote I had had to defer my three races for the year, all long running events, due to a flare up of my tibialis posterior tendinopathy again along with long undiagnosed shin splints.

Well in the past month things have taken a turn for the good with regards my mojo, but also my private work of performance psychology. I am still inured swimming, haven't even tried, and I'm now running 3 miles a couple-three times a week so building slowly there, but it's the cycling where fate has taken over.

Cycle Specific is a brand new wattbike studio in Cross Hands, Carmarthenshire, that offers specialist assessments and coaching, as well as specific group wattbike classes. The owner is friends of a friend of a friend, and it seems that in business it's who you know that gets you places as without knowing Sarah this opportunity probably wouldn't have occurred. Having met with Dylan only 3 weeks ago I was really impressed by his enthusiasm for helping others, much like my own, and also his interest in psychology and wanting it to be a part of the package he offers to clients.

In my first business meeting with Dylan he had me on the wattbike even though I hadn't brought my kit, so he soon got a sweaty Hayley! At that meeting we agreed that I would run a workshop at the studio for his clients introducing psychology for performance and a week ago I finally delivered what has been a long held ambition of mine! A 90 minute workshop to about 20 enthusiastic cyclists and triathletes and the feedback I have gotten has been excellent!

Just being back on a wattbike stoked my mojo as the data you get from one is motivational, always trying to perfect my pedal stroke which makes time fly by compared with sitting on a turbo staring at the TV screen. Dylan has been offering free tests to people, a 6 second max power test and a 3 minute test to look at average watts and workout training zones. 

 The competitive streak in me reared its head as I was keen to compare my scores with other females. Just doing these tests then made me questions goals in triathlon/cycling as it seems I'm built for time trialling as I was able for sustain consistent power across the 3 min test with a good explosion of power also. I know I need to lose some pounds and that will help my power to weight ratio. I have avoided the scales for a longtime but I have made changes to my diet and with my mojo stoked I am looking to slowly build my training hours back up and then the weight should shift pretty quickly. 

I even went out for a road ride last night, something I haven't done in a long while and it felt so good to be back out in the sun with the breeze on my face :-) 

Another decision I have made is to quit the gym as I wasn't going due to it being too busy at the times that suited me. I am instead good to buy my own squat rack and weights and a trx and workout in my garage. I have my turbo already, I run outside, and the gym work I did was mainly on the trx and squat rack anyway. By doing this I know I will train more, do more double sessions and train consistently before work. I have already started to get up and do yoga some

Mornings as I want to help realign my body where it is out of position and help me heal whilst also being preventative. It's something I will need to plan properly to make sure I do it but I feel so refreshed when I do a session before work.

So whilst I have no races lined up due to dissertation writing and injury, I feel positive moving forwards that I have things under my control and the rest I will have to wait and see what happens...

A frustrating update

It's been a good few months since I last blogged so I thought it'd be useful to give an update as to what i'm up to and what the future holds. Last time i blogged i was running regularly, and had entered three long distance run events, with the ambition of trying to continue building mileage to make a marathon an option. Alas...two weeks before my first race, and after doing my longest ever run of 15.6 miles where i could have easily carried on for a few more miles, my tibialis posterior tendon played up again, tendinopathy set back in and it also seems i suffer with shin splints. Whilst that was going on I also decided it was time to seek out an opinion about my shoulder pain which had flared up again. I found a brilliant physio locally and finally, after years of complaining of pain when i swim to coaches only to be told it was nothing i now know i have tendinopathy in my shoulder, shoulder impingement, and a SLAP tear http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SLAP_tear , which won't heal itself but wasn't deemed bad enough to warrant surgery which would mean a month off from driving, and therefore possibly word. The physio confirmed the races were out, and it's back on the rehab. However, the shoulder is so weak that the rehab tires my shoulder out really quickly which given how strong i am generally is quite demoralising.

I have been doing what i can though, although still struggling with mojo to get into a regular training habit of biking and weights work. I can't even blame my dissertation as frustratingly i'm waiting on my tutors to get back to me about my progress and i seem to spend more time waiting on others than i do actually doing work. I'm starting to get a little anxious that i won't have enough time to write it up by end of september given i work full-time as i don't want to use all of my leave, although i will use a fair whack of it to get that dedicated time to write up.

In the gym weight training is going well, and i could easily just do weights all the time if i wanted, but i don't want to give up cardio work given the expense paid out since taking up triathlon 3 years ago. I've put on some weight over the past year through limited training due to injury and my sweet tooth come weekends, but i've started to get a handle on that now and turn the scales slowly in the right direction I hope. Bike work is fine too, although i've been sticking to turbo work as i'm not training consistently enough during the week to have my base where i'd want it i wouldn't have thought. Although, in my mind i know i could go out on the bike and easily clock up at least 30 miles.

As i can't run or swim without pain i've tried doing alternative cardio work to facilitate recovery...cardio machines in gym that i thought wouldn't aggravate the injury - WRONG! My tib pos didn't like the step machine even though i did it slowly and focused on stepping down with heel,  and aquajogging, WRONG, as that triggered tendinopathy in my elbow! Then yesterday, i thought i'll go for a long walk up in the trails i like to run in, to explore new ground, only for tendinopathy in the top of my foot to set in. Oh for the love of god!!!!!!!

Basically, i can't do any exercise without getting tendonitis it seems. I have started taking glucosamine again, as well as collagen to boost the levels of type 1 collagen (and type 3) as i have found that surrounding tendons is type 1 collagen and when you injure your tendon it gets replaced with type 3 which is prone to re-injury. Also, some people have higher levels of type 3 to begin with, which is probably me which accounts for why i get tendinopathy everywhere! If i can boost my type 1 collagen levels this might help repair and maybe prevent injury? A twitter account @fittendons 'The tendon clinic' suggested that a blood test might show some systemic or inflammatory medical problem so i'll book to see my Doc and ask for tests. I'm trying all i can to get to the root of the problem as i can't give up hope of doing the sports that i love without being in pain. 

The other week i tried swimming again, after a few weeks of rehab, and the first 25m were pain free and i thought "wow", only for the return length to bring the onset of the pain. I did 250m nonstop and felt good other than the dull pain but when i stopped it's like my arm is almost like a dead-weight, even after only such as a short distance. 

I had a month off from running and had looked up some technique ideas so did a 2.5 mile compact sand beach run of walk/run, resetting technique each time. Pain was there throughout and worse the next day, so obviously a month off wasn't long enough. Or, do i persevere through as some advice suggests it will be painful when you start back. What i have done though is book in to see @KineticRev for a 1:1 run analysis to see what i'm doing when i'm running that might be triggering/causing the tendinopathy. Thats not until mid July, all the way up in London, meaning an 8hr journey for a 2hr session, but if it means that i can learn what i'm doing that is contributing to it and means i get can get back to doing what i love, potentially pain free, and better, then it'll be worth it. Also, that amount of time on the train means quality study time writing my diss if i'm at a stage by then (please god let me be) to be writing up.

It's not even as if i've had private work on either, as no takers since Xmas, even after proposing an idea to my tri club of doing a group psychology session on confidence, anxiety, for interested people. Guess training the mind is still not given much credence, even though it can make or break a performance. 

I don't know what the future holds for me within tri, I know there are people far worse off than me with disabilities, and they race in pain all the time, but right now, if i carry on running and swimming then i could cause more serious damage so i need to get to the bottom of it and go from there, or discover that it'll never be better and then change my focus to something that doesn't cause my body to break down.

Right now though, i'm going to commit to myself to get back into regular training throughout the week, rather than just a max of 5 hrs training each week. If i become a cyclist then so be it, but i'm not giving up hope of finding a solution. I won't let my body beat me!!!!

Juggling act skills being harnessed

I thought i best update my blog as those who are interested may be wondering what i'm up to. Well…it's been quite a frantic start to 2015 and i'm only now finding the balance. The usual dreaded jetlag floored me for 2 weeks after i got back from USA, as it always does, even though people tell me i should only suffer with it for 5 days - well sorry folks, but the nausea, headaches and constant lethargy are real, believe me! This hampered my training efforts, along with the dreaded dissertation now being the main focus of the year. No longer do i have an 'A' race, but instead my 'A' event is getting my dissertation done and hopefully getting it done early so i can ramp up the training and fit in a race or two!

Don't get me wrong, i have entered now 3 races, but they're all running events. Running is my "go-to" sport, it's what i need when i want to clear my head, or de-stress, or think. If i'd had a long hectic day i'm able to get myself out for a run, but less likely to manage a turbo sess, or battling the egos on the squat rack in the gym, and even less likely to make it for a swim! As much as my training has been affected, well for months now, i'm consistently running and i'm now running to heart rate, which i've never done before. Sure, i've done it, successfully, for the bike, but up until now found my HR was too high. Well, needless to say i spent weeks just running on feel, very easy runs, even being able to just breathe through my nose for some, and then i started to use heart rate, going on previous heart rate testing and again feel. I still need to do a lactate threshold test, and on the bike, to get my heart rate ranges set properly, but for now i'm happy with the progress i'm making. 

The races i have entered are two long hilly train runs, and the swansea half marathon where ideally i'll clock a big pb and have a 'good for age time'. Although, i'm not going to follow a plan for this, just doing what i know, so i'll be happy with a pb, but chuffed if i get the 'good for age' time. The two hilly trail races are the Preseli Beast Bach in pembrokeshire, 11miles of fell and trail running. meant to be a cracker - hard but beautiful! This is at the start of May and then the end of May i'm doing another beast race, the Beast of Bryn, 15 miles of trail and climbs. Another epic on the calendar apparently. My mileage is almost there now, so i'm just building slowly, and then i'll have the miles in the legs for the half marathon the following month and then if i can keep the distance up i'll be set for late season triathlons, maybe a half ironman distance if i can get the bike and swim up too. 

Trail running - pure bliss

So whilst my running has been going well, i haven't been able to consistently do strength work or bike. Part of this is my weekends now being taken up mostly with study, along with the usual housework chores and food shopping, but also not being in a routine that means i go to the gym no matter how i feel. That is, until now! What i have developed the past 2 weeks is a routine of getting into work early, 90 mins early, so that i can study before i start work. This also kills 2 birds with one stone as i beat the morning traffic that makes a 20 minute drive to work a very frustrating 50 min drive. However, the lesson i learnt on friday was that i must take my iPod into work as when some of my colleagues decide to come in early and then spend all that time gossiping, loudly, it means that i can't concentrate and my early morning study time is wasted! Now that i'm consistently studying every day if i choose, then all that remains is to get my arse to the gym for a bike/gym/swim sess (or combinations of) a couple of times a week. I have been shocked, and pleased though that when i have got on the bike (indoors now, as i haven't been outside, or done a long ride, since my last race in october), and done strength work, that i'm still bang on the money with heart rate, speed, and then strength in the gym. Yesterday, i even clocked a pb for deeper squats (almost parallel in quads whereas previously i was doing quarter squats are far heavier weight), and probably could have gone heavier. That was having not been for about 2 weeks! But, what it did make me realise though is that i love the feeling of being more toned, of feeling stripped, and i know that due to less training i've got a few pounds to lose so that's what is motivating me to get to the gym a good few days a week on top of running, so that i can maximise my time and get my body back to where i want it. Then, when i am able to race i'm fighting fit and raring to go!!

Swimming is my least favourite, mainly because the times are less social to be able to go and not get frustrated by lack of etiquette when the lanes are busier. I also need to ensure my nutrition is right so that after work when i head to the gym for a bike and gym sess, that i then don't cry off through hunger before i get to dip my toes in the pool. I swam 3 times over xmas when i was away, but since then i must have swam maybe once?? I've not yet tested out my waterproof iPod in the pool either, only running outside in the rain! So this week the goal is to swim 2-3 times, no excuses, other than my own! (that's as long as my asthma-induced cough eases when i get my new inhaler tomorrow).

As for my dissertation, well given i only had 28 viable responses i'm pleased i have some good results that are significant, although it's not looking likely that i can do as much with them as i had hoped. I have 5 days annual leave before April, so i'm going to spend some of those days writing some of my dissertation, and then i'll feel that i'm on track to finish nice and early. The other days i'm hoping i can spend doing DIY around the house as i'm aware that there are things that i have left for too long, painting, touching things up, and i like things to stay nice, rather than becoming spoilt and looking unsightly. 

So overall, we're 6 weeks into the new year, and whilst i'm not training as much as i'd like, i'm now feeling in a place ready to commit to upping the training and sticking to it, knowing that i'm also keeping up with the study as well.

If you believe you can do it, you will do it! I know i will!!